You were clear when we met this was going to be a long haul. When we met, you made it clear how long the hall would be. All that time I was not listening. I did not stop listening to the sound of the brook running away. Now I am here and you are not. I want to talk to you, trapped on a train that cannot run away. I want to run away with you. Instead, we are trapped in a train of thought not of our own making. It is unbearable. My heart squeezed into chambers too small to fit. It is unfathomable, my heart expanding to fit spaces I didn’t know existed. Unbelievable longing, butterflies exist in my stomachs cavity.
Whoever knew they were the same butterflies? I always knew there was only one butterfly. It is not my fault if I cannot stop seeking it. It is not the seeker who finds fault in the perfect petals. Wings flap against the night sky. I wouldn’t bother with those things now. Now I know the night sky is a perfect way to open the flap to the other side. Long ago, you told me you accepted this outcome. This outcome you could never have foreseen so long ago. Only a minute now, only a minute. If you return to my heart, all the next moments are only a minute. If, never returning to my heart, you are lost, one minute will stretch out to infinity. It is impossible to know before that futures undecided moment what I have learned. What I have learned will depend on what I have lost. I refuse to except any loss except the loss of lovein my heart. That had not been lost. You know that at any moment you could pick up the phone , that no distance would exist? I know that no distance is contained by broken telephones. What sounds would I show you if I had all night? Have you heard stars falling? I would show you, again. Have you heard of fire flies dancing? This too, I would show you. I stop to remember these ideas bring you discomfort. The pressure is not what you think it is, though it is immense. I remember to stop thinking about your discomfort or at least that is the idea behind this. I recall the fire in your eyes as the sounds of the night show you how to dance with the stars. I always knew how good it was for the soul to break, reform and break again. It always broke my soul to reform, anew, again. In the most simple of moment, everything is clear. It is clear that the simple moments are the most pure. Why wait for anything? Waiting is to be avoided by shifting the state of the mind. Anything you are waiting to state shifts you to avoiding the why? Speak the truth.
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I seem to sigh but all the moments bleed
I seem to sigh indeed I grow weary I grow thin This cap is bald, my voice is tin It’s not possible to think : I stared into your eyes once It is not possible to dream anymore of love Only possible to live each day for tin of paint a musical note They voice the sounds birds want to sing They take away the lock They throw away the key Still joy peeks through, how is it so? At times I am sick The stomach wants to overflow The heart seizes and the mind can’t grasp But joy peeks through, how is it so? Hope for mercy hope for me
This hope delays, not meant to stay The lights fade out, but oh so slow You stop to watch them go You see the midnight glow And still you hold your spirits high You crave a gentle kiss, a sigh You tell me there is time for this You tell me all the ways to see Delightful in a forest glen to sit with you another day Precious moments fade away why do we string them out so far Bring them close don’t let them linger, weary and unattended Hold the moments close at hand I’ll wait all day Eat my broccoli first Until I realize broccoli is the feast I’ve held out so long I forgot the song I forgot which way I ought to go The dessert taste sweet and sick in my mouth I would spit it out, but there’s crowds who watch Instead, I wonder what went wrong when sugar taste like death upon my tongue Your voice begins to darken all the songs I have sung Your eyes don’t light me like they did Your charm has faded as it would I’ve waited so long the waiting has become the answer And the questions I ask have all changed their tune These whispers This fading moon The body delights on answer such as this Wait long enough and you’ll soon be dead My grief is a bone numbing confusion
Too deep to be felt It hums in my body Paralyzing action Desires fade to this Dissonance Defies comprehension And so cannot be felt Remains to buzz around No escaping Until my plans fall dormant In your grasp The work continues My thoughts remain in Quiet confusion A valley away tonight What truth be told Once we awake, we fall down in deep silence, the voices descend on their own they descend |
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April 2024
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